"but everyone does it and it's something that's been an accepted way to monitize software development"
No piece of software that I have installed during the past two years has done so, and I sure wouldn't accept it as a way of funding development. I'd rather pay for a product in that case.
Can you give a few examples from your list of "everyone"?
I think the Java runtime installer asks to install a toolbar. There is something else that I can't recall (flash runtime?) that asks to install the Ask.com toolbar all the time as well. Some popular open source projects too (PDFCreator).
The flash download page asks you if you want to install an antivirus, I believe it's mcafee.
It's funny, though, that I encountered a "not so bright" person who simply told me "oh, I didn't know you could opt out, I was always uninstalling it afterwards".
You can also block the ask toolbar from downloading by killing toolbar.ask.com or the entire ask.com domain. It most certainly will not be missed.
Adobe does not pretent to give you an open source project like VLC player and bundle malware/adware into the installer as if VLC team did it. They even make the .exe signature identical to that of the original to fool people. Its wrong. and puts blame on the original makers. Its like if google wrapped every app submitted with ads that give only google money. The ads are annoying, and apps get bad reviews, but the app makers had no say in it.
No piece of software that I have installed during the past two years has done so, and I sure wouldn't accept it as a way of funding development. I'd rather pay for a product in that case.
Can you give a few examples from your list of "everyone"?